What a complete and utter shitter of a week.

Things have been going wrong with both of my girls this week and it really has been a strain.

Alison was at the doctors for her immunisations on Tuesday which have now been delayed due to an ear infection, then she was tested for diabetes on Wednesday which thankfully came back negative and then she was off sick with a high temperature and vomited all over our front room on Friday.

Add to that the saga of Elizabeth who visited Out Patients three times this week. We came in on Tuesday to get her bloods done as she was pale and had no energy, thankfully they were fine. Then we were in on Thursday for our check up and she had to have tests because she was in contact with someone who had chicken pox and then Thursday night she was in so much agony with constipation and trapped wind we had to spend even more time with doctors on Friday getting the correct medication to help her. Friday night was spent in much the same way as Thursday which meant no sleep for either of us and then we woke up this morning to a raging 38.7 temperature which meant immediate admission to the Hospital for a minimum of 48 hours.

Unfortunately it doesn't end there. Not only is Elizabeth suffering from a high temperature but Wiggle has stopped working. She has had an Xray and it shows that it has become dislodged which means that they can't use it again. Wiggle will have to come out but with only two weeks worth of treatment left before they were going to take it out anyway we will have to wait until Monday to hear what Dr Rob wants to do. Whatever his decision I know it is for the best but I am almost hoping that they can find another way around putting a new line in. There is only one more harsh chemotherapy due on Wednesday and then the others that are due over the next two weeks would be able to be put through a cannula. Elizabeth has a cannula in now and I am not sure what I was so scared off, the doctors on the ward are a completely different breed to the ones who tried to put a cannula in her when we were admitted and it is a whole different experience. One that she would be ok to repeat.

Being readmitted to Ward 84 brings back all sorts of memories and the ward is now filled with new children. New children who are suffering from a variety of different forms of cancer but who are all seriously ill. Its always difficult to immerse yourself with new parents, not knowing the prognosis of their children's illness you never want to ask just in case you get the bad news. The hardest part of today was when earlier this evening a mum and her young son were admitted into the bed near ours. It is there first night and they came up from A & E. She doesn't have a diagnosis, not even a small inkling of what she might face but she was asking me about Elizabeth. As we spoke I could see the panic slowly rise up in her face. The feeling when you realise that you have been admitted onto the Cancer ward. I remember when the word Leukemia was mentioned and my world came crashing down around me, I remember the sheer terror that my baby was going to die and I remember the loneliness on those first few nights. I cant take away her fear or change the diagnosis but I will help me and try to stop her feeling lonely because I wish someone had done that for me.